cap 3 is gonna be wild
"The last thing I want to be known as is That-Chick-Who-Gets-Her-Clothes-Off. That’s the very last thing I’d like anyone to ever say about me."
Desolation of Smaug + scenery [for missingtheshire]
The angels — they need help
Thing about royalty is, there’s no end to what people will do to get close to you - like it’ll rub off and suddenly make them less obscure. Something in the way my mom set up the monarchy… they think we’re something other than human.
ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE
This kills me every time
"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"